A stressful birthday party

Well well well I have to tell you something, last weekend was the most stressful 2 days I’ve ever had. I was invited to one of my friends 20th birthday party and a friend of hers who recently turned 19 years old, on Saturday night, I had not seen my friend in a while, I was so happy to see her again. I met her in high school before the end of our final year, we became rapidly very close and that’s how our relationship started. 

On Friday night she invited me to her mom’s place to spend some time together before their birthday party (because I knew I wouldn’t have been able to see her much on Saturday), and we had a whale of a time. The night started by going to the function room, it was a pre-birthday party (there were only twelve people so nothing to worry about for me). We enjoyed ourselves on the dance floor, me first. It was 1 am when we came back to her place, we immediately went to sleep, we had a lot of things to prepare in the morning. I’m going to skip the cooking part and talk about the moment I arrived to the function room. It was still quite early, the guests arrived 2 hours after us and to be honest, I spent the all time alone, everyone was talking together and I was alone in a corner of the room I was looking for some things to do to kill the time. There were around forty young people and I only knew six or seven of them which is little. 

I really thought for once I was going to talk to people (I did talked to my friends), but I didn’t even try, it was too hard for me, I felt powerless and my fear took over me. At dinner time, I was feeling so sad that I almost cried I thought I was going to leave the place, but hopefully I didn’t. I pretty much spent the night sitting on a chair.

I was supposed to stay for the night but I asked a friend if she could drive me back home which she nicely did. I also had to explain it to my friend, and she understood, she actually saw how lonely I was feeling. 

I hate being introverted, it literally prevents me for doing EVERYTHING, I would love to be different, but I don’t think I can change that. The worst thing in that, some people don’t take me seriously, they say it is just a phase, that it will change and it pisses me off (excuse  my bad language).

That’s all  have to say. Next post will certainly be a Tanya Burr make-up look on her palettes (I bought the 3 palettes last week aha).

Love ❤

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Author: Birdree

Mathilde aka Birdree wants to share her world

16 thoughts on “A stressful birthday party”

  1. I used to be exactly as you explained (I still am sometimes), but I think I am better at talking to strangers now. I cannot give you any advice, I simply feel more comfortable with myself now. I think starting university and having lived in a foreign country on my own has helped me a lot! Maybe you could push yourself a little bit so you can start chatting! Practice makes the difference 🙂

    Zoel Hernández | zoelhernandez.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t know yet but England maybe! I wanted to in the United States but if something comes up or happens (If I miss my family or something) I don’t want to be too far from my country

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I didn’t think I’d ever post a comment on your blog as I was in your “class” last year and had never talked to you (let’s do it in English then).
    I’ve lived something very stressful a few years ago and it literally destroyed me. Since 3 years now I am exactly how you described yourself. I can’t talk to people I don’t know and when I do, I have the impression to be such a moron! So I admit I used to get drunk very often to feel better when I was with people I don’t truly know. I’ve done things I regret so much because of booze…
    Last month I decided to stop behaving like that and to have more control over my life but that’s not so easy when you feel like an outsider most of the time.
    Anyway, I know how you feel and I can’t tell you that it’s gonna get better because it’s probably not, but you have all my support.
    Btw you have one more subscriber 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing this with me! 🙂
      I understand you because I was you a few years ago, I used to get drunk (well maybe not so drunk) too, and I knew it wasn’t the solution so I stopped. I feel better now, I just need to open myself to other people! 🙂
      Hope you feel a lot better now but If you don’t, you have all my support too. xx

      Like

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